I had a scheduled dental appointment today—a very typical type of appointment to replace an old filling that was decaying. And even though I had an idea of what was coming, I still noticed I felt a great deal of stress. I was using my typical coping responses, but was still feeling light-headed and nauseous. When I finally got home, I felt exhausted.

So I leaned in. Instead of powering through my day, I laid down on the sofa, covered myself with the softest blanket I could find, played some soothing music, and gave myself grace.

I realize I am privileged to have this time to myself, that I have financial security and a comfortable home, and I am making room for ease today, acknowledging this truth.

For those of us who push ourselves to show up for everyone else, we often struggle to show up for ourselves.

We are only human, and don’t always show up with the same amount of capacity each day. Capacity for stress fluctuates depending on factors like sleep, hunger, and other life events that also take energy. Today, I lacked the capacity to cope with uncertainty and pain. I, too, am human and allowed to struggle and then rest and reflect.

Rest is part of rebuilding capacity and healing wounds. All physicians know this, and yet, we still keep pushing. This needs to stop. Giving ourselves grace and time offers space for the healing to happen.

It is surprizing how much we need rest after trauma. This was just one morning of stress, not even trauma, and I needed rest. Ongoing, pervasive, and chronic emotional abuse attacks our nervous system’s ability to cope and recover. To rebuild capacity we need to lean into instead of ignore what our body is telling us.